• I’ll be in Atlanta this weekend, not for DragonCon, but to hang out with Adam, and as he puts it, be “feed zone queen” for the team at the race Monday morning (that may or may not actually happen). I think it’ll be good, I don’t get to see him very often; just at random intervals in different cities.

• He started talking to me again the other day, messaged me out of the blue. I didn’t, and still don’t know how to react, and I don’t know how I feel about it. He told me how much he missed me and how much things could be different if we lived in the same city, but hearing those kind of things still hurt. I think it was easier when we pretended we hated each other, and didn’t speak. 

The time I was in Chicago was the time I had originally planned to be in Columbus with him. We were supposed to see the National on August 2nd, but I was driving to Chicago instead. Anyways, he had tried to send a text and video from the show, saying how much he wished I were there, but the phone hadn’t sent them. I have a screen print of the text that he sent to prove to me the other day that he was being honest. I felt as though I was going to cry. 

• School is going well, but stressful. I’m really enjoying the shit out of my printmaking class and learning the multiple processes to doing certain things, but it may be my niche, honestly. I’ve been in drawing classes, sculpture classes, painting classes, and I don’t know why I postponed taking printmaking for so long. I just hope I can master the techniques and pressing so my work actually comes out looking like it’s worth something. 

You know, just getting dirty, making some prints ‘n shit.

I’m the only one in the studio, have been all morning, as most art students don’t get up before noon. It’s been awesome, I have my music up loud, and there’s no one in my way. 

openquotes asked: Really really enjoy your blog but I'm going to be a bit geeky and ask about your bikes? Keep posting, love reading your thoughts and musings. x

• a 1980 something Peugeot fixed gear 10 speed conversion
• a modified 2006 aluminum and carbon fiber trek pilot 1.0
• an old brakeless single speed DK bmx bike built from random parts.

Aquatint. Shotgun on hardground steel plate (intaglio printmaking)

I know a lot of you read Notcot, but I saw this artist listed today and absolutely fell in love with his work. His name is Jacob Dahlstrup Jensen, a Danish artist that has brilliant pieces from printmaking and time based media as well as installations and sculptural objects. 

unending-inspiration asked: As one of my favorite bloggers, I've been meaning to ask you.... what is your inspiration? Be it for writing or riding or just living life.

PS> I see nothing wrong with a girl that is broken, jaded and lonely. Especially since those can easily be fixed ;)

What is my inspiration? Currently the fact that I am a recovering Catholic, learning to love myself and not feel guilty over even the smallest thing. This includes my eating habits, sexuality, loneliness, atheistic thought, and anything you can imagine. I am in the process of retraining myself to accept every part of me, and the venue I’ve decided to do this is through confession. 

All of my work you see or read, is in direct correlation with something I have experienced first hand, including, especially, the stories written originally for Since She Left. I’m sorry to admit that they are not in fact fiction, I’m sure it must ruin it for some of you. 

Is being jaded, broken, and lonely fixable? What if I don’t want to have anyone fix me or fix anyone else? I’ve lived my life to the extent that I have beaten myself up, having lived what I have been told a lot of life for 23, I don’t plan on stopping or changing a thing. It is only that I truly hope no one really hopes to one day be like me, because I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. 

ahdorkable asked: can I get on the rabeccarae love bandwagon? I'd hate to miss out on telling you you're awesome. :)

D’awww

Anonymous asked: You're absolutely gorgeous, and such a talented writer. Keep your head up because you seem like you're destined to do amazing things. I may only be 17 but if I could grow up to be half the woman you are, I'd be happy.

Wowzers.

Sweet girl, you don’t want to be anything like me. I’m broken, jaded, and lonely. You should want to be something better than me, I swear. 

Anonymous asked: If your face of disapproval is at all accurate, I'd be happy to let you disapprove of me every day.

Wait, that's not a question, is it?

Cute.

This is the face of disapproval, it appears only in times of certain frustration. The case this morning that brought it on was the rain, leaving me to drive to school, traffic from said rain, because people are fucking idiots, and it taking me a grand total of 45 minutes to get to school and park when I live a mere 2 miles from campus. 

All of this led to me being 15 minutes late to my 9am class, and because of my tardiness, I was no longer allowed credit for today’s assignment, which is absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. 

Went dumpster diving in a relatively well off neighborhood south of Birmingham and found this baby on the side of the road, even wrapped in plastic waiting for me to give it a home (don’t worry kids, it was part of a gigantic rubbish pile). Cleaned it with a woolite and BAM, new chair.